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  • Writer's pictureDr. Velma

Let It Go!


June is one of the most distinguishable months in the year because it is associated with marriage and celebrations of love. A lot of work and attention goes into a one-day event, but marriage is so much more than a quick ceremony. Even though a marriage ceremony is exciting, from the walk down the aisle to the highlight of the event, when the couple says the words— “I do.”


These are all the easy steps to marriage because what requires more attention is the preparation each person completes long before the ceremony. Since God instituted the marriage union and later taught that this union shows the marriage between Christ and the church, we know there is a purpose in it. Therefore, with the decline in marriages, we must help others reflect what God envisioned. But it will require more work than a one-day event.


The waiting period, before you meet your special someone, is the perfect time to do this work. Your goal is to present the best version of yourself to this person. If the intent is to build a healthy, blessed, lifelong marriage, this work is crucial. During this time, focus on being productive: accomplish your goals, complete God-given assignments, and tasks, serve in your assigned ministry, and work on areas in your walk as a believer. Scripture describes the tool used to run towards your goal, it says “Lay aside every weight…” To do this, you must assess your experiences, past hurts, bad experiences in your past, the pain of exes, and more, and work to unload them so that these weights do not affect the good that’s coming. A runner who runs towards a goal carrying baggage cannot run. It’s time to let it go.


I associate carrying weights with being a rotten apple. Place an apple with a rotten spot next to a good one and soon the apple that wasn’t rotten will also develop a spot. To not work on yourself before meeting your mate, and because of your unresolved issues—weights—what was once a good potential mate, will soon erode—because your rotten spot infected them. Weights from your past can also affect your ability to assess a guy properly and result in your choosing incorrectly. Weights can also reveal poor self-worth and if your opinion of your worth is low, it can affect your choices.


Isn’t the love of your life worth receiving your best? Then, take time during your waiting as your opportunity to get rid of them.


You show how serious you are about discovering your mate through your efforts to prepare for him. The question to ask isn’t, When will he arrive? Are you doing anything to fix the things in your life that need to be taken care of before he comes? Forgive those who hurt you in the past. Are you sure that you have completed all the tasks God requested of you for your ministry before they arrive? Then, after God confirms your readiness, with a clear heart pray as you await his arrival.


As you can see, by taking time to work on yourself early, to let it go, we hope to see a higher rate of blessed marriages because more couples laid a firm foundation for marriage before their mate’s arrival. These couples prepared so they could become one and operate in unity and agreement. More unions, like what I described, will give singles purpose, and hope for the same blissful life they witnessed, showing them it’s possible.

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